A Shitstorm of Ignorance:In honor of my friend Eric's list of things he actually heard people say at work, here is a true list of comments I have heard from visitors to the museum here:What they ask:"So, like, are all of the things in here real?" What I think:No, they're a figment of your imagination, you jackass. This saxaphone is actually a glitch in the space-time fabric. Do you mean to ask, "Are these old?" or "Are these authentic?" or "Are these things actually the belongings of so-and-so?" Why would we have "fake" things in a museum? It doesn't make any sense to me.What I say:"Why, yes, they are real, sir!"What they ask:"Were all jazz musicians black?" (I get this one pretty regularly from visitors of various races.)What I think: America is going to hell in a handbasket and nothing I do at this stupid job will change a thing about it. I might as well walk out the door right now and go find a nice commune somewhere.What I say: "Jazz is a unique, original American art form that draws from many cultures. It is primarily an African-American musical form, but now that it is America's Classical Music, there are important jazz musicians of every race." (! *big smile* !)What they ask:"Are the tall water fountains for the white people and the short ones for the coloreds?" (True comment from an internation visitor regarding our handicap-accessible water fountains at varying heights)What I think: Go home, you stupid, racist ignoramus, before you say something else that makes me want to backhand you on the floor of my museum.What I say:"Oh, legal segregation ended in the United States many years ago. Those short water fountains are for our young visitors and those who use a wheelchair."What they ask: "Do you have [Ray Charles/B.B. King/Elvis/insert name of any musician here] here at your museum?"What I think:No, because either they are better represented in another museum, or they are not really a jazz musician per se, or just because we're lame and we can't afford any artifacts that relate to that musician.What I say:"Sorry, not yet!"I spend my day lying to people and glossing over the facts. But now that I consider it, I guess that's like any work environment, huh?