Inquiring Minds Want to Know

So, in response to some comments I've received about my blogging Halloween pics, let me just state for the record:

1. yes, the girl in the brownwig is me. No, I will not dye my hair brown. Yes, blonde hair is my natural color. No, I can't help it if god fucked up by giving me blonde hair when everyone thinks I should be a brunette. Deal with it.
2. Ian and I have rechristened ourselves the Chinless Wonders. If we always look like that (chinless), we don't want to know about it. Just say the camera is lying and we'll save up for our chin tucks now.
3. No, I have not put on 50 pounds--that is a fake pregnancy belly. In case you didn't hear, Katie Holmes is pregnant. Like, uber-pregnant with little Ron L. Hubbard Cruise. She and Tom have been trying to play it off like they just found out, but in the latest pics, she looks at least 5 months along. not that I'm some expert, but if you look like you're smuggling a beach ball under your shirt, you're not two or three months preggers. Anyway, I put a towel under a lycra bodysuit, under the dress, and apparently it looked so real that people kept going up to my roomate and asking her a) why her roomate was nine mos. pregnant, or if they didn't know me b) who's the pregnant bitch drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette? Should we report her to child protective services or something? It was kinda funny.
4. Ian does not look like Tom (obviously), but earlier, when he had his hair all gel-ly, his sunglasses on, and was handing out scientology pamphlets while jumping on our ottoman, the costume made more sense. Here, it just looks like he neglected to dress up. It was a costume that took more interpretation.
5. Even fake pregnant is a pain in the ass--I couldn't get my shoes on, sit down easily, etc. However, the boys did find it dead sexy. Everyone wanted to dance and rub up on little Ron Hubbard Cruise. It was a weird, twilight-zone inversion of my typical experience on dance floors i.e. for some reason men think it's okay to rub their genitals up on some stranger's ass in a dance club, just because there's music playing it's okay?!