Looming August. . .

I consider myself to be in pretty good health. I don't smoke and I only drink to intoxication, oh, four times a year? I've been getting my weight down, and, more importantly I work out almost every day ('cause on the upper side of 25 you have to do it). I can still run many miles, bike like a maniac (even my boyfriend can't keep up), I take 90-minute hot yoga classes. . .you get the picture.

However, all the healthy eating and vitamin-popping in the world cannot solve my ongoing health issue: allergies.

I developed allergies toward the end of college (DAMN Boston and it's deciduous trees!) and I have been having severe, escalating problems since then. Add in three years without health insurance, thus, no prescription meds, and here I am with chronic sinusitis (yay, polyps), allergy-induced asthma, and chronic, cryptic (that means I get food particles stuck in them, doesn't that sound fantastic?) tonsillitis, and that's the short list.

So, since I'm relatively young and healthy, but most of the time I'm like the girl in the bubble, washing my sheets in boiling hot water more often than I go out with friends, mopping the floor with enough bleach to give my dogs cancer, and worst of all, I have become "that girl". You know, the one who when she orders her food at a restaraunt, asks: "Does this have carrots/mango/banana/kiwi/almonds/any kind of moldy cheese/melon in it? 'Cause you know I can't have that--I'm allergic." Sadly, this eliminates the fabulous tuna salad at Houston's because it has Banana, carrots AND avacado in it, which is kind of a 1-2-3 whammy.

Anyway, all of this sucks and my doctor has recommended that I have surgery because apparently it will keep me from getting sinus infections all the time, which really is a major bummer. I figure, I've been on antibiotics 15 times in the past two years, and I now have three antibiotic allergies, so it's probably not a bad idea. These are the procedures I'm having:

Endoscopic sinus surgery and repair of deviated septum: http://www.sinusinfocenter.com/sinus_treatment_endoscopic.html

Adult tonsillectomy:
http://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com/ccjm/aug2003/tonsill.htm

And now I'm scared. It's scheduled for August 25, and that is far too long for me to look information up on the internet and get myself all worked up about phrases like "potential complications may include injury to brain." Injury to Brain?! What?! No, I am not cool with that, ok?

So all of this was stressful enough and I was starting to wig out a little (I will be in surgery for almost three hours, and the recovery for a tonsillectomy in adults is notoriously hard and painful--my surgeon actually used the phrase "you'll want to die" in reference to the time the scabs are sloughing off the inside of my throat) but to add lighter fluid to the Kingsford, I made a scary discovery on my recent road trip to Louisiana.

While in the car with my dad and my boyfriend, the boyfriend was giving me a face rub (yes, it sounds weird but it feels really nice) and discovered a lump on my cheek, just in front of and slightly below the ear-hole opening. It is about the size of a pea, it's hard and rubbery and doesn't move much. I called my doctor about it, and, although I need to have a CAT scan and fine needle aspiration to be sure, this lump is most likely a tumor on my Parotid gland, a major salivary gland just under my cheek. Considering these tumors are most often seen in old men who smoke or use chaw, this is highly weird. About 20% of them are cancerous, the rest are benign but BECOME cancerous if you leave them. If it's cancerous, depending on the type I get a 50% of getting 5 years. Fan-friggin'-tastic. Also, if you just take out the lump, they tend to grow back again, so guess who's probably getting her entire parotid gland removed in August?

You guessed it, me. Here's the link:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/salivaryglandtumors/parotid.html
This one is not so cool, because the gland is wrapped around a major facial nerve, and the most common complication is nicking or cutting the nerve--so I could have my face paralyzed on one side. It will also look like I had a facelift. And all of this will mean a 6 hr-plus surgery with a three week recovery--blech.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't be bitching because there are tons of people out there who are really sick and in pain--people who have AIDS, who are homeless, cold, have diseases and can't get clean drinking water, people who are starving and people who don't have anyone who cares about them, people who are paralyzed or brain dead or have serious cancers or heart disease or lung disease.

Along with that little perspective, even considering if it IS a tumor, only 20% chance it's cancerous. So why prepare for the worst? I will stop obsessing, ('cause pressing on it all the time--let me tell you, that is not helping!) I will chill out, I will be grateful for the gifts that I have, and if the worst happens and it is a bad thing--well, then I am gonna have the wildest five years of my life:)